inside ermasya

because i am so hungry, that’s why. because i just realised that the submission I am working on actually takes me much longer time than I originally thought. because the submission is due tomorrow. because other two works that I have started nothing on are also due tomorrow. because the administration letter has to be filed by the end of this week.

because today is already wednesday.

because i just want to grumble.

because i am being ungrateful.

oh.

baiklah. selesai muhasabah. should get back to work.

but, before that.

then i googled “burger ayam”.

ok tata.

Okay, macam takde kerja. But here are the songs I am rooting for this year’s Juara Lagu.

1. Situasi by Bunkface- kalo tak menang juara lagu/masuk final, bukan sbab lagu ni kurang best, tapi sbab Sam semput nyanyi live ngeee…

1. Pakai Buang by Stacy- sbab Stacy yang bawak. (bayangkan jika Mila yang nyanyi? hmmm). Rooting for the best performance

1. Bencinta by Faizal Tahir-sbab FAIZAL TAHIR yang nyanyi, duh. Stacy’s competition for best performance (eh macam dah kompim je masuk final). He’s a brilliant performer, can’t wait to see what he has in store for the final. (hmm lagi skali, cakap macam dah kompim layak je ni)

1. Khatimah Cinta by the Sixth Sense- awwwww lagu ni berantu you.. Walopun jika anda macho (macam saye), anda akan tetap suka dan layan lagu ini (macam saye)

1. Fikirlah by Aizat- this is the kind of songs that swiftly lighten up your mood, innit?

1. Dan Sebenarnya by Yuna- she’s a fresh breathe of the (Malaysian’s music) air. Our very own Colby Callait (camni ke eja dia)

1. Aku Skandal by Hujan- walopun cuba jadi denial dengan hype pasal diorang sejak purba kala, fail. Lagu2 mereka memang sangat sedap so sy surrender

1. Mirage by Pesawat- apasal lagu ni tak masuk top 5 masa semi aritu???

1. Rindu Terhenti by Tomok-sbab I memang over biased kat Tomok haha. Lagu ni biasa2 je

1. Pergi by Aizat (lagi)-sbab lagu ni personal favourite sejak zaman Talentime.

Hmm lagi 4 tak kisah la bagi kat sapa2. Tapi untuk memeriahkan malam kejadian, boleh la bawak masuk One Nation Emcees, sbab bila mereka mnari ligat macam malam semi aritu, teringat Black Eyed Peas. I doubt any other group in Malaysia can deliver the song as well as they do.

I believe great songs share one thing in common; they are pleasant to the ears. Dan olehsebab mine are the commoner-tak-blajar-muzik-cuma-bukak-radio-dan-dengar-lompat2 ears, maka baiklah saya berenti menulis skarang. J

because you smile through your eyes, and i speak through my heart. if we have it, we would have seen and heard each other.

but we don’t.

this proves to be much difficult. even for me.

…so there should be no reason for me to cut my hair short.

as the bombshell has now been dropped, all i need is extra works, motivation, and lots and lots of chocolates.

because life has to go on, and time is a magic healer.

to you who called, i am ok. i know you know ill be ok.

to you, to whom this post may not be able to reach, i guess that this is it.

….kerana jika buat begitu hari hari, maka hari hari lah saya akan jatuh dari kerusi macam tadi. tssskkk…

your smiling face really lightened up my mood. even if it wasn’t meant for me.
dan cita cita smalam tu hanya tinggal harapan, sbab pagi2 lagi dah stalk page anda wth ok dah.

Ye betul. Rasanye baru lagi hari tu berazam dengan semangat waja untuk tidak mahu buka page anda lagi. Untuk buang page anda dari muka depan dan fokus pada page saya sahaja. Memang hampagas.

Hari ni je, janji. Sebab status yang anda jerit di page anda itu merunsingkan saya. Tapi esok pasti saya akan lupa. Pasti.

Harapnye lah.

Okeh sekian mari kita balik. Main seminton dengan opismet juga adalah perkara menggembirakan, jika tidak sampai mengeluarkan peluh woohooo.

it’s ok. this is a transition that i have to go through just for the umphteenth time. but now, it cannot hurt me as much anymore. happy sedihsket happy happy..

selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin… happy happy happy…

i have officially graduated. happy happy happy syahdusket happy happy happy

Pernahkah kau bicara tapi tak didengar
Tak dianggap sama sekali
Pernahkah kau tak salah tapi disalahkan
Tak diberi kesempatan

Kuhidup dengan siapa

Ku tak tahu kau siapa
Kau kekasih ku tapi orang lain bagiku
Kau dengan dirimu saja

Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskanlah teruskanlah kau begitu

Kau tak butuh diriku aku patung bagimu
Cinta bukan kebutuhanmu

Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskanlah teruskanlah
Kau kau begitu
Teruskanlah

First of aaaaaaaaaaalll, this is not a sentimental note. The first time I listened to this song, I only heard the later part of it, and didn’t know the singer/title of the song. So this morning was the first time I listen to it fully and I went ‘wehhhh sedappp gilerrrr laguuu niii?!’. I think by now the song must have been quite famous on the radio already, but biasala saye yang tiada telefon canggih berradio, mp3 player apatah lagi ipod ni, bila mana2 kebetulan dengar ye dengar.

Anywaaay, I think the first verse caught me almost instantly. I love the song as a whole, but because this song is actually meant for a lover, rasa macam tak connected sangat lah.

But the first verse? Like woah. Menuju tepat ke satu sudut hati.

Anyway, I suspect that effortless/lazy-like singing style is the new in thing. I was first annoyed by Rihanna’s singing in Unfaithful, because I think she sounds really malas in the song. (But I got hooked up anyway). Now Agnes did the same for this song. Maybe I am wrong, maybe she meant it to sound like she is in pain or something, hence the expression.

In any case, it works

p.s. few things have happened this month. I got so little time to tell, and not sure if it is appropriate for me to share anyway. One thing I know, I feel that the fasting month this year is so very short. Pejam celik dah nak abes puasa. I feel sad that it is going to end soon, because I don’t know whether I can still be this strong in the upcoming months. But newfound strength and realization has to start somewhere innit? Can’t thank God enough for that.

p.p.s. Im sorry you don’t find yours.

I was asking for my master’s approval for my application for after-raya leave, in which I wrote “your approval is highly sought.”

To which he replied:

“Why is it highly sought as opposed to lowly or any other means?”

I think I have to start menjampi now.

A lot of work pending, siblings who are threatening to leave me in KL as they will start their holiday one day earlier than me, and this.

Ya Allah, kuatkan la semangat hambamu yang seorang ini…

Bolot-bolot masuk mulut,

Skarang sudah sakit perut.

Sekian, terima kasih.