inside ermasya

Pernahkah kau bicara tapi tak didengar
Tak dianggap sama sekali
Pernahkah kau tak salah tapi disalahkan
Tak diberi kesempatan

Kuhidup dengan siapa

Ku tak tahu kau siapa
Kau kekasih ku tapi orang lain bagiku
Kau dengan dirimu saja

Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskanlah teruskanlah kau begitu

Kau tak butuh diriku aku patung bagimu
Cinta bukan kebutuhanmu

Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskanlah teruskanlah
Kau kau begitu
Teruskanlah

First of aaaaaaaaaaalll, this is not a sentimental note. The first time I listened to this song, I only heard the later part of it, and didn’t know the singer/title of the song. So this morning was the first time I listen to it fully and I went ‘wehhhh sedappp gilerrrr laguuu niii?!’. I think by now the song must have been quite famous on the radio already, but biasala saye yang tiada telefon canggih berradio, mp3 player apatah lagi ipod ni, bila mana2 kebetulan dengar ye dengar.

Anywaaay, I think the first verse caught me almost instantly. I love the song as a whole, but because this song is actually meant for a lover, rasa macam tak connected sangat lah.

But the first verse? Like woah. Menuju tepat ke satu sudut hati.

Anyway, I suspect that effortless/lazy-like singing style is the new in thing. I was first annoyed by Rihanna’s singing in Unfaithful, because I think she sounds really malas in the song. (But I got hooked up anyway). Now Agnes did the same for this song. Maybe I am wrong, maybe she meant it to sound like she is in pain or something, hence the expression.

In any case, it works

p.s. few things have happened this month. I got so little time to tell, and not sure if it is appropriate for me to share anyway. One thing I know, I feel that the fasting month this year is so very short. Pejam celik dah nak abes puasa. I feel sad that it is going to end soon, because I don’t know whether I can still be this strong in the upcoming months. But newfound strength and realization has to start somewhere innit? Can’t thank God enough for that.

p.p.s. Im sorry you don’t find yours.

I was asking for my master’s approval for my application for after-raya leave, in which I wrote “your approval is highly sought.”

To which he replied:

“Why is it highly sought as opposed to lowly or any other means?”

I think I have to start menjampi now.

A lot of work pending, siblings who are threatening to leave me in KL as they will start their holiday one day earlier than me, and this.

Ya Allah, kuatkan la semangat hambamu yang seorang ini…